When I sat down to write this post
I got very in my head about it
I wanted to make sure I “did it right”
and it occurred to me that that’s actually
what this post is about
“doing it right”
so here’s what I have to say about that
there will always be the perfect moms
(pandemic or no pandemic)
who do it right
who post about how great life is
how they play cards, ride bikes, do puzzles
have plenty of good family time
all while cooking every meal from scratch
homeschooling 3 kids under the age of 9
and running their businesses
with the precision of a Swiss watch factory
cheer them on
(seriously, it’s good for you)
but don’t compare yourself to them
this sh*t can be overwhelming
but only because you've never done it before
so you don’t know how to approach it
or what to expect
every single thing you know
was new once
so if you think your home should be running
like a well oiled machine
killing it as a mom
killing it as a wife
hot sex life
clothes clean and folded
beds made
kitchen organized
fridge full of healthy snacks
schoolwork done
cooperative children with stellar hygiene
children who love to read and don’t care about screen
time
all while clients are throwing money at you
cut yourself a break
the expectation of that scenario as reality
can send a girl spiraling down the road of
shame, anxiety, frustration, and not good enough
not to mention resentment
toward all the things, and people
showing up “in the way”
of how you think it should be going
so here are some thoughts about
productivity, partnership and parenting
during the pandemic (and all the time)
start with a plan:
decide nothing should be any other way than it actually is
then begin with the end in mind
consider your long and short term goals
they are why any of it matters
if you have a partner
remember that you are on the same team
and want the same things
take an hour and do it together, if possible
make it fun however fun looks for you
(dance breaks, music, adult beverages, whatever)
make a list of “all the things”
pick your 3 - 5 absolute musts
decide how long you will spend on each one
put them on your planners with start and end times
(don’t forget play time)
notice the joyful moments
next look at the things that didn’t make your top 3 - 5
give yourself permission to let some things go (woo hoo)
anything that absolutely can’t be ditched completely
gets assigned a day of the week and time allotment
I suggest 15-30 minutes, max
add those to your planner as well
notice the joyful moments
once you have your plan
make sure the whole family knows what it is
and how it works
if work is happening, you won’t be making tacos
if school is happening, you won’t be making work calls
when the time you allotted is over, you’re done
notice the joyful moments
do scheduled things at scheduled times
be where you are then you are there
do what you’re doing when you are doing it
and enjoy the ride as much as you possibly can
(that’s what it’s all about) notice the joyful moments
to sum it up
pick them
schedule them
do them
love them
let the rest go
notice joy in all the things
if you’re doing it, it’s right
___
Emily Stulman Klein, founder of liveajoyfullife.com, is a leading Life Coach for Women. She believes that every woman deserves a joyful life, to be happy, brave, fulfilled, and free. Through her 1:1 work and small group programs, Emily helps women come home to themselves and live unapologetically, courageously, fiercely, joyfully, the lives they imagined. Permission not required.Emily lives in Montclair, NJ with her 13-year-old daughter, their large brown dog, and small gray bunny.Don’t you deserve a joyful life?Decide to start living the life you imagined.
Permission not required.www.liveajoyfullife.com
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